I hate the word sorry. I hate saying it and I hate to be the one receiving it. If sorry were ever needed, that means something very wrong has happen. Something that needed that word to quench the guilt. When I did something wrong, I wanted to say sorry. But I've always known 'Sorry No Cure.' When I do say sorry, I really do mean it, but what purpose does it serve apart from releasing me from my guilt? Do people really want to hear sorry? Though sorry doesn't do anymore good nor does it do anymore harm, the word do still hold some value and impact.
We're not God. People often make mistakes. That's what human beings do. We screw up. Sometimes, big time. People, when sometimes faced with a choice between doing the right thing, they panicked, they stumbled, they became indecisive, and eventually, more often than not, people tends to make mistakes. And how else are we to repent, but by saying sorry. It's an act of remorse.
Knowing that you've done something so wrong that its eating you up inside, and yet, can do nothing about it, but just saying the word sorry. Sorry is about asking for forgiveness. Are we so cruel that we couldn't forgive? Do you want to be a person who live in spite or be the man or woman you are and accepted the mistake made and make peace with that?
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I'm a person who accept. I don't live my life in spite or hate. I just live.
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When I said I'm a bad person, and I can be really really cruel, I'm referring to my tendency to live again with a clean slate.
Starting anew. And the way I do it, is undoubtedly selfish of me. I admit. I'm no saint. I'm a person who is decisive. I got no patience. If I find myself in a situation where things are getting nowhere, until a certain point of time, I'll leave. And I leave adamantly. No turning back. And I'm ruthless. The reason I'm removing you off my life, isn't because of something you did. Like I said, I don't react to what people do to me, but merely, I just accept.
You did nothing wrong,Faizal.
In fact, you've been a great part of my life. One of the happier one. You're a good guy, who just sometimes lack the ability to make a decision. And because of that, we're on this roundabout trip, unable to reach what is to be our destination.
So, I've made this selfish decision of mine, to remove you from my life. I hope I'll find my path again. And you too. Thank you for saying it's okay for me to do this, you've help remove me of this guilt I've been having since I made this decision. I know it must have hurt you just as much as it hurt me for this to happen. I know I'm being too jealous. And now I'm just tired of all those things that happened to us. It'll always repeated again & again.
To make things short, whatever that will unfold in the future, we'll never know. But as the saying goes, 'Every cloud has a silver lining.' Just stay strong and life would unfold itself. ;) You'll never know what's awaiting you when you turn that corner.
currently listening to miss you love by silverchair
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